A Family's Best Friend

It has been a very, very long time since I last posted on my blog, but today's events required me to do so today. Today we watched our wonderful dog of 13 years take his very last breath. I can't help but sit here in tears as I think about what we could have done to keep him alive and spend just one more day with us. I'm heartbroken although I knew this day would come it has torn me apart inside. I loved our dog and too often did not show it. The last year has been the hardest on him and me because he has aged so quickly and his body just couldn't take much more. We learned in the last 24 hours that he really has been suffering from pain with his left hip and although we could've opted to treat him or have surgery or maybe do blood work would it really have been the right thing to do? We have no idea, but what we felt was best for him is breaking our hearts. How can putting your pet down be right when it feels so wrong? I realize all of the bad things that have been happening in our home that have caused concern, but if we had more money would we have opted for the alternative? I guess I'm just beating myself up over this because he's no longer here and within just a few seconds of time he was gone. It was awful watching him lie there so still and unable to move or cry or do anything at all. Then, to see him completely stop breathing and know he was gone forever killed me...absolutely devastated me and Nate. We will never hear him bark again or run up the stairs again or see him wag his tail for a treat. We will never see our daughter kiss or hug him again or call him her best buddy or pet him again. We'll never walk him again or clean up his hair off the floor again or have to wake up in the middle of the night to take him outside again. It was the hardest thing to see the look on Diego & Delaney's faces today when we came home and they looked to the room he always slept in to find he was not there and he didn't come running up to us to greet us as he always had. This broke Delaney's heart and it was then she understood Cisco will never be here again. Diego's caring heart keeps him in tears because he loved him so much. He said he didn't talk much at school today because he was sad and he played on his own. I just can't help but think I could've done more and I know we could've been more loving to him this past year. I just hope he knew how much we loved him and how much joy and laughter he brought to our lives for 13 years. He traveled the country with us and in the end was always our very best friend. He loved us and we loved him more than anything. Cisco, I hope you have felt our love and will rest in peace in Heaven. We will always think of you and pray you're in God's arms now. We love you! We love you! We love you!